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Top 10 Reasons You’re Not Done With Your Novel

1. You have a day job.
2. Your codependent cat has an eerie, human-baby cry.
3. You are a sensitive soul who gives a darn about the important (tsunamis and earthquakes) and the unimportant (office drama).
4. AMC has a new series called “The Killing.” (So, you said you’re “sensitive”?)
5. You believe you can conquer the Everest of laundry while writing.
6. You believe that perfection can be achieved in this lifetime.
7. You love revision, a little too much.
8. It has come to your attention that you should socialize, at least once a month.
9. You eat and sleep.
10. You have a blog.

Filed Under: just for fun, writing process  

How to Bake a Rejection Pie

“”Embrace rejection! Wink at it, laugh, maybe bake a rejection pie. You’ll get there — why not have fun along the way?” — Literary agent, Michelle Humphrey

insert my rejection poem here

Filed Under: just for fun, rejection  

And Now For Some Satire

The nurse left work at five o’clock.

Outside the hospital, real Americans rushed her carrying signs that read HANDS OFF OUR HEALTH CARE and DEATH TO DEATH PANELS. They plodded after her, white as snow and heavy as glazed donuts, bellies jiggling, shouting, “Miss, miss, don’t let the government take over your job!”
She stopped and said, “This is a state hospital.”
The protesters screamed, “They’ll dock your pay!”
“They’ll let foreigners take over the ER!”
“They’ll kick the hard-working Americans out of beds!”
The nurse said, “What’s new?”
****
Friends, Republicans, Countrymen, I dare you to finish this prompt.
I just submitted a different version to NPR’s Three Minute Story Contest — satire of a different sort. James Woods of The New Yorker will be judging. We’ll see how I do. I know this much: writing a good story with a given first line — The nurse left work at five o’clock — and given only 600 words — required me to marshal some creativity. A great exercise.
Filed Under: just for fun